Tourniquet
by FLITTER.Glitter
Summary: I thought that he loved me. He said he loved me. And now I'm slowly dying and he doesn't care. He was my everything. My heart. My happiness. My tourniquet.


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Alright readers, this is a Sesshomaru/Kagome fic. People are always writing happy ending fics about them, so I decided to write a tragic one to balance things out. Yes I am an insufferable pick for writing something that makes Fluffy-sama sound mean. But if it makes you feel better I felt like crap after writing this.

Okay this is to help you guy out, the stuff in_ italics are the flashbacks. _The stuff in normal writing is the stuff that is happening in the present.**The stuff in bold is the song.**

**Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Inuyasha. Rumiko Takahashi does. Darn, I wish I was her.  
****Other Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Evanescence or their incredibly neat songs.**

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People always told me that love was the slowest form of suicide. How right they were.I always thought I'd be happy when I met the man of my dreams. Little did I know that Mr.Right would cause me this much heartache.

_"Do you love me?" she asked him as he got ready for work. "Stop asking me question's woman,"he said as he headed for the door. "Do you love me," the question was less pleading and more demanding. He stopped, just as he turned the doorknob, and looked over his shoulder. "I will tell you for the last time, stop asking me questions." And with that he left._

****

I tried to kill the pain

**But only brought more  
****I lay dying  
****And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal  
****I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming  
****Am I too lost to be saved  
****Am I too lost?**

Now i am in this pathetic state of heartache. The bloody knife lies next to me on the floor. My arms are hanging over the edge of the bathtub. I stare at the crimson river flowing out of me. How could he... how could he do this to me? Doesn't he love me? " How could you do this to me!" My screams echo off the walls. I know i don't have much time left.

_She stared out of the window and watched the man as he got out of the car and walked to the house. "He came home early," she happily thought as she raced down the stairs to gree her husband. " Hi sweetie. How was work?"she asked as he hung his coat and headed towards the dining room for dinner. "Fine" was all he said the whole night._

_Dinner was filled with an awkward silence. As the woman got ready for bed, she let a single tear fall. "He's here, but he's acting so cold,"she sadly thought. This didn't go unnoticed by the man. "Tell me why you are crying," it was more of a command than a question. "You're never home! It's...it's...it's like I don't know you anymore. You're never here when I need you!" Her quiet tears were full blown sobs as she finished the last word. The man walked over to her, sat her on the bed, and comforted her. "Do not cry. I'll always be here for you. I'll stay home from work tomorrow and we can spend the day together" She felt somewhat comforted by his words as she drifted off to sleep._

_The blinding sunlight woke her up. The woman felt a little better at the thought of spending time with her husband. She turned over and almost stopped breathin when his side of the bed was empty, except for a not. "Something came up at work. I left town for a business conference out of town. Love you." She didn't bother reading the last sentence of the note. Her heart wrenching cries cut through the morning air._

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My God my tourniquet

**Return to me salvation  
****My God my tourniquet  
****Return to me salvation**

He's never here for me when I need him. He's let me cry alone. He doesn't care about me. Why isn't he ever here when I need him most? I'm dying for him and he doesn't even care. "Why a...aren't y...you he...here when I...I need you?!" I begin to embrace the numb feeling taking over my body.

_The man hadn't been home in four months. He called once every other week. The woman was on the brink of insanity. She was driven to believe that her husband had forgotten her. Her friends and family all whispered behind her back. "She needs help." "I knew she should have never married him." "She's wasting away." "It's her own fault for marrying him." And soon after she began to believe them. "Am I really that forgettable," she thought as she drowned her sorrows in liquor._

**Do you remember me  
****Lost for so long  
****Will you be on the other side  
****Or will you forget me  
****I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming  
****Am I too lost to be saved  
****Am I too lost?**

He said he'll be home soon. Should I believe him? He doesn't seem real to me anymore. The only real thing is the searing pain and the aches of my heart. It's my fault for believing he actually loved me.

_"Hi honey. I'm back in town. I'll be home by this Sunday." She played the message over and over until she memorized every word. "Will he miss me when I'm gone? Of course he won't. I mean nothing to him." Her head ached as she cried herself to sleep._

**My God my tourniquet  
****Return to me salvation  
****My God my tourniquet  
****Return to me salvation**

I find my whole predicament hilariously ironic. I always did think that I would get married and be in blissful love for the rest of my life. I was so wrong. My short lived marriage brought realization. I have finally realized what love really is. A sick, twisted game played by sadistic people. I just can't believe he was evil enough to do this to me. I really was naive. And now I'm paying the price.

_** Sunday evening**_

_The woman walked out of the kitchen with a knife in her hands and a forced smile plastered on her face. She was going to make him pay. Pay for the agonizing torture. "I'll make him pay the ultimate price for hurting me." she slowly said as she walked into their bathroom and began hacking away at her wrists. She didn't even flinch as she sliced through veins in both wrists. When she was done she began writing on the bathroom mirror. As soon as she finished she stumbled over to the bathtub and slumped over the edge._

**My wounds cry for the grave  
****My soul cries for deliverance  
****Will I be denied Christ  
****Tourniquet  
****My suicide**

_** Sunday night**_

The man walked into his house only to be greeted by an eerie silence. Usually his wife was here to greet him with a hug and pester him with questions about work. The silence finally got to him. "Where is she," he thought as he made his way upstairs and into their bedroom. No one was there so he checked the bathroom. He turned on the light and saw that his wife was slumped over the bathtub. "Are you drunk ag..." his breath hitched in his throat as he caught sight of the bloody knife on the floor next to her. He rushed over and took her in his arms. What he saw in the bathtub almost made him sick. It was full of her blood. Her body was cold, signaling she'd been dead for a while. He hugged her and cried. What had he done wrong? Did he forget something? Did he say something wrong? When he looked up he saw the mirror. Her last words were engraved in her own blood. _Thanks for letting me know I meant nothing to you._

_** FIN**_


End file.
